Pigeon Pairs – are they the bee all and end all?
I wrote a post a while ago on pigeon pairs – check it out to give some clarity on my thought processes.
I’m a boy mom and love the title and all that goes with it. Our boys are now 8 and practically 6 and we have such a great time doing loads of boy (and girl!)stuff. Yes, I am the only girl in our house and give most things a go.
I know for a fact, that their are loads of girl dad’s who are in the same boat and wouldn’t change their world. They too find themselves doing girl (and boy) stuff and love the time and memories they have with daughters.
So, when I am still asked whether we are going to ‘try for a girl’ or I hear people saying ‘ooo! a perfect pigeon pair’ when someone has a baby that is the opposite sex to the child they currently have, I have to turn and walk away.
There is no point in trying to explain that a healthy baby is the most important thing of the entire family creation process and that whilst it’s human nature to label everything and anything, a ‘perfect’ pigeon pair to some is not what every parent thinks of as perfection.
I have mentioned our boys age, and so I can sort of see when they were toddlers, that the question of having more children may have been a bit more ‘acceptable’ to ask. But…asking me about it now, means one of 2 things :
- Maybe, we have been trying to have another baby and not been successful (this is NOT the case!!)
- We’re happy with our family the way we are and don’t need to explain that principle (this IS the case!!)
Just to be clear, we are not doing number 1, but what happens if whoever asks someone who is in that situation? How thoughtless!
The flip side of all of this nonsense talk is that there are loads of people who would give their right arm for just a child…1! You just have to look at the latest news with the Australian/Thai surrogacy items.
I think you are blessed with what you are blessed with. One thing I am going to carry on doing, is making sure that when someone asks me ‘Oh, you have 2 boys. Are you going to try for a girl?’ and it’s in front of our boys, is to remain calm and give them the honest answer of ‘No, we’re super happy with our boys and wouldn’t change a thing!’
Absolutely! Happy, health children is what it’s all about. They are all individuals – two boys are not the same.
I see myself as a mum of boys too – I have two boys, and they came first, although I do also have a daughter. If my third child had been a boy I would have been very happy and I would still have stopped having babies at the point.
The ‘boy stuff’ has always defined our family and my weekends are spent on football and rugby touchlines, while my weekdays are spent running my daughter to dance classes.
It’s so rude of people to ask that question, although I guess it’s human nature.
Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…Can you Loom to the Moon?
I love girls…don’t get me wrong but just making the point that what society deems as ‘normal’ may not be the case for all x
I guess it is a little rude to ask if you are having more children, but generally it is just a sociable question that means no harm. I am glad to hear you are happy with your boys. There are people (myself included) that would have liked a girl and personally I don’t think (I) we should be judged for that.
Turns out my 4th son WASN’T healthy – but I still love him just as much too.
Pinkoddy recently posted…Meeting the Gruffalo
Thanks for bringing a different (and honest) perspective Pinkoddy. I don’t mean to cause offence and wouldn’t dream of judging anyone who would like whatever ratio of boys : girls. I am trying to point out that not everyone wants the same thing and that asking the question in front of our boys, perhaps makes them wonder if they aren’t good enough and did we want a girl instead of a boy. I am sure each of your boys are loved just as much for being boys as they would have if they were girls x