Tag Archives: Parental guilt

2 Dogs and their mum, General

Ranty post : Parental guilt – yes it’s ok to feel it!

10 Comments

mumof2.com_rantypost_warning

They are talking about parental guilt on BBC Breakfast this morning and whilst they were having a discussion they were balancing a mother who is well a ‘normal’ mother and a business woman who is also a mother.

I am all for mother’s supporting one another – I have said this before but…yes the but arrived…I was completely floored when the business woman/mother put an argument forward that she feels no guilt whatsoever for having someone else look after her children and that she can work like a man or just as effectively as she doesn’t have to think about all those things that come with having children (ok the last part of the sentence I added as interpretation).

So – it got my ranty side working as my thought process was :

  • That is a bit of an insult to men (and not just dad’s) that they don’t feel empathy or are completely heartless.
  • Most Men / dad’s also like to spend time with their kids /family and carry an enormous sense of empathy,longing to be with their loved ones, whilst at work.
  • If feeling guilt ‘creates a glass ceiling’ for working parents – well then this world is turning into some cold place
  • She also gave an example of when she went to her own children and said that she had a sore throat, that they turned and said ‘get a grip’ and showed no sympathy – whatsoever. Apparently she is proud of them as that is what she does to them. Erm – aren’t we supposed to show our children how to care?
  • I also thought ‘well done!’ to the mom on the breakfast sofa who stood up for herself and said that she wouldn’t want to be heartless or selfish as when her children said ‘Mom – I would have loved you to have been there for my exam’ – she said she wished she could have.

I know that I loved working and having our boys and it was a tricky balancing act to keep going all the time. I think each family and parenting unit do what is best for them as a unit but I completely disagree with the fact that feeling any sense of guilt, when it comes to bringing up children, is something you don’t feel. This to me is a HUGE fib.

Sorry – rant over – I may even write another follow up on this it has made me so mad.

Being a mum of 2 boys

Parental lying…didn’t know it had a name?

parental lying, mumof2,

 

I know we all tell fibs to our children (come on…the tooth fairy? Father Christmas?) and don’t really think twice. We teach our children that lying / fibbing is a complete no no and there are consequences and within seconds we are telling them to eat their carrots to make their eyes see in the dark.

I didn’t think I did it *that* much until I read this article on the bbc’s website and realised it even has a name!! I like to think of it as fibbing rather than lying as lying sounds like being completely devious and setting out to do something underhanded on purpose.(spose fibbing fits in with definition too now I have read said article).

I’d be interested to know what other types of lying have names! As if parents don’t have enough parental guilt(there another name!) to deal with! I feel like using more explanation marks than I am ‘allowed’ but have a feeling I am more trying to deal with the fact I have been ‘found out’ for using such ‘underhanded tactics’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sorry!couldn’t resist the !)

I will say that I am most likely going to carry on using my creative ways of getting our boys to eat and behave and all the other things they need to do to stay safe. You?